5 Methods to Deal with Parenting Stress
~ 3 min read
The uncertainty in the world can get on your nerves, and the problem is, you aren't the only one to worry about. Your children can feel your stress too, and stressed children can do that. If you and your children struggled with fear before the pandemic, it has likely intensified now. Summer may have taken a break, but new worries may emerge. What can a parent do when there are so many issues to worry about and no chance of knowing for sure that your feared outcomes will not come true?
Here are some questions to help you assess your current stress level:
- Did you get upset about trivial situations?
- Did you find it difficult to relax?
- Have you overreacted to various circumstances throughout the day?
- Couldn't you relax?
- Have you found it difficult to calm down after something upset you?
- Have you been in a state of nervous tension?
- Did you feel oversensitive and sensitive?
- Did you feel easily excited?
Take a moment to determine if your stress level is high or low BREAK every day. This pause can help you realize that you don't have to bow to the stress and anxious thoughts that your mind generates throughout the day.
- Prioritize. Do your daily actions align with your values - the things that are most important to you? If a loved one watched you from afar, could they see from your actions that you were leading a meaningful life? Does your stress bother you? Keep a log of your daily activities for a week to see if there is any need to add, change, or decrease certain activities. Changes to your routine can give you more rest and purpose each day.
- Adapt to your current circumstances. It's been tough for all of us lately, more for some than others. When you are a parent, it is especially difficult to be calm and flexible. Your children watch how you deal with adversity. Developing flexibility takes time and practice. Invite your children to notice their breathing every night before bed. Ask them to put their hands on their chest or stomach and notice how it rises when they inhale and how it falls when they exhale. You and your family can do this together for a minute each night, or more often if possible. This simple exercise is a step in becoming more aware of your body and being more flexible in times of stress.
- Relax. Save yourself time every day. Pocket the time to relax and don't join social media. Take a break and do something else. If your mind insists that this activity is the only one that can help you relax, treat your mind as a separate entity and sincerely thank it, "Thank you mind." Then do something else. Read a book, go for a walk, play sports, build or create something, play a real board game with your children, dance or listen to music.
- Self-compassion. As a parent, you may feel that it is selfish to practice self-care and self-compassion. There is a lot of research out there that confirms that you can't give what you don't have. Are you treating yourself like your best friend or your worst enemy? Take the time to acknowledge the stressful moments: "Wow, this is tough right now." Remember, when it comes to pain and suffering, you are not alone. “Others feel like me.” Then say kind words to yourself: “May I be kind and patient with myself now” and hug you!
- Do what is important here and now. You have had many experiences in the past and will have many more in the future. However, the past is over and over. Sometimes you may complain about what could or should have been, but getting stuck in the past doesn't help your present. On the other hand, obsession and worry about the future will only lead you to a seemingly endless rabbit hole. There is no way you can prevent future events from happening regardless of what your mind tells you. See if you can take your time traveling (past or future) and gently step back into the present moment – the only time that matters.
Make time for BREAK each day and see if it can help you enjoy your parenting and your entire life more despite challenging times.
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Annabella Hagen, LCSW, RPT-S
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APA reference
Hagen, A. (2020). 5 ways to deal with parenting stress. Psych Central. Retrieved August 26, 2020 from https://psychcentral.com/blog/5-ways-to-cope-with-parenting-stress/
Last update: August 25, 2020 (originally August 26, 2020)
Last check: By a member of our scientific advisory board on August 25, 2020
Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.
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