Is It Attainable to Be Too Empathetic? (And Tips on how to Cope if You Are)

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For as long as I can remember, other people's physical and emotional pain seemed to penetrate right into my own body and mind. As a child, when someone fell on the playground, my stomach would turn up and down like an erratic elevator. Even if only someone spoke When I was hurt, my stomach was full of empathy. To this day, my body still reacts the same way when I see or hear someone in distress (watching the news can often induce feelings of physical pain and panic).

The emotionally However, absorption has not always been as clear-cut as feelings such as depression, anxiety, and anger are often kept under wraps. But as I got older, it became more and more apparent how affected I was by other people's emotions. I can be completely fine and energized, but when I have been with certain people for too long, I internalize their negative emotions, which leaves me feeling unjustified fear, sadness, and exhaustion. On the other hand (thank goodness!) I also feel happier and more hopeful when I am with people who are honest, friendly and… empathetic.

In the last year I have also discovered that there is a term for people like me: empathy. When I first heard it, I have to admit that it sounded like something out of a science fiction story (the example that came to mind was Star Trek's Deanna Troi, who had the ability to sense emotions feel and appropriately worked as a ship consultant). . The more I researched, the more I realized how much the Empath label fits.

In an article for Psychology Today titled "10 Traits Empathic People Share," psychiatrist Dr. Judith Orloff empaths as people who tend to absorb the emotions and / or physical symptoms of others. Dr. Orloff is an empath herself (and author of The Empath's Survival Guide: Living Strategies for Sensitive People) and lists some of the most common traits that empaths have in common, including: highly sensitive natures and senses (one empath is more easily stressed than another noise, smells, etc.), a developed sense of intuition, a tendency to be overwhelmed, and a tendency to care for others at the expense of one's sanity.

I know I can relate to almost any part of this list … and now I understand that a family member referred to me as "overly sensitive" as a kid, not because I was weak or wrong – but because it was simply part of who who I was – and always will be. Like Dr. However, Orloff recommends empaths learn to center themselves so that they are not overwhelmed. Empathy or not, we all feel overwhelmed at times, so the following suggestions can help you find your way around life, whether you're referring to the intuitive Deanna Troi or the logical Spock!

  1. Take breaks: In your daily life, remember to take both small and large breaks. Small breaks can be as easy as taking a few minutes of deep breathing in your car before getting out – especially if the drive itself was stressful, lying on the couch, and closing your eyes for a few minutes after shopping, even taking a walk around the Block if your partner's voice gets on your nerves! Larger breaks include a long bubble bath, a day off from online work and social media, and a trip to the great outdoors. Breaks can help reset, rejuvenate, and keep your balance – so take them as soon as you feel overwhelmed – or even know you are going to.
  2. Set limits: If someone is constantly making you feel uncomfortable and / or draining your energy, consider limiting your time with that person. And when you are in that person's company, remind yourself that you don't need their consent. So, if she wants something from you that you don't want to give, you can learn to remove unnecessary guilt and you may also feel more empowered to say no. By the way, one of the most compassionate ways to say no is to simply thank the person for thinking of you and explain that you are too overwhelmed to deal with anything else right now. If you are not sure, you can always say that you need to check your calendar first and that you will be in touch with that person in the next few days. And if you think that you are too much of a people-lover (empaths tend to be) this can be very helpful Not To agree to anything at the moment (unless, of course, you know you are Really would like to).
  3. Trust yourself: Lastly, remember that you are the one who knows she the best. Nobody else can estimate how much time it will take to recover. Nobody else can use your intuition. Nobody else can learn how to balance their own life as well as one can. So, honor your gift, realize your strength and … trust yourself.

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Tracy Shawn, MA

Author and spokesperson Tracy Shawn lives and writes on the Central Coast of California. Her debut novel The Grace of Crows (Cherokee McGhee, 2013) won awards for indie fiction, including the 2013 Jack Eadon Award for Best Book in Contemporary Drama and second place for General Fiction from Reader Views. She has written numerous articles for print and online publications. Ms. Shawn is currently finishing her second novel and is now working on her third. You can visit their website at: www.tracyshawn.com.

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APA reference
Shawn, T. (2020). Is it possible to be too empathetic? (And how to deal with it when you are). Psych Central. Retrieved August 30, 2020 from https://psychcentral.com/blog/is-it-possible-to-be-too-empathetic-and-if-you-are-how-to-cope/

Scientifically verified Last update: August 28, 2020 (originally August 30, 2020)
Last check: By a member of our scientific advisory board on August 28, 2020
Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.

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