The Art of Gratitude, One List at a Time

I met Otto about ten years ago. Within the first week of our budding friendship, he gave me a message. I opened it and read a simple list of things he liked. I was overwhelmed with appreciation, felt a joyful sense of connectedness, and felt inspired to make my own list in return. That's how you get to know someone! How refreshing for him to run with his likes rather than his dislikes.

I often find it easy to focus on the downside in everyday life. It is common for someone to complain, tell a friend what bothered us about a film or an album, to turn away from something because we don't like a certain aspect of it. We often forget to lead with the positive and usually connect through stomach ache. If we just focus on the terrible and annoying aspects of our world, we put ourselves in a cycle of opposition, we say no, and with a dismissive attitude we miss so much light. I felt a resounding positive about Otto's list, as he said yes, and I was addicted.

I am now writing my own lists to combat negativity and remind myself that the little things are usually the things that give the bigger picture a shining meaning. For me, the practice has become a meditative ritual and writing exercise that changes the way I think when I feel stuck.

My latest book, Go Ahead & Like It, explores this practice. I realized that if these lists have been so helpful to me over the years, the process would most likely be beneficial to others. Go Ahead & Like It is a guide and self-help book for people looking for a creative approach to looking on the positive side. Hence, it is a practice that is suitable for yogis and the yogi community. I imagine that someone who is already set on the importance of self-reflection will be able to get to the heart of this process and reach a new level of excitement for list making.

When I make a list, I first look at my surroundings or rummage through my memories and start writing down everything that feels important. For people who want access to the sacred aspects of everyday life – for people who long to discover and celebrate the endless offerings of life – this practice serves as another protocol to put on your already burning fire . I see gratitude as a skill that requires work. Documenting the things we like, the things that inspire us, will further help us stay grounded in appreciation.

We can write a simple list of things we enjoy and all of a sudden our role as an observer comes into focus. We begin to perceive peculiarities, and suddenly our life appears rich and teeming with infinite joy. My favorite time to make a list is when I'm in what seems to be a dire situation. The example I like to use the most is the traffic jam. What's to like about this moment, crawling with hundreds of other vehicles, getting stuck, wasting time? This is when I look around and make a mental list:

The car next to me is such a beautiful turquoise
The air conditioning in my car works so well
I like the song on the radio
My socks feel really soft in my shoes
The vines that grow on the side of the cement dam are really beautiful …

What a relief! I am surrounded by splendor! This traffic jam isn't that bad after all! See how it works?

As a poet, my entire craft revolves around perceiving the smallest beauties that make this world something special. I want to write it down and share it with my readers. In the same poetic way, I hope, list making allows for a deeper personal connection to uplifting aspects that would normally be overlooked.

So grab your pen and paper and focus on the little facets that add to your perspective. Take a look at my book and in the weeks that follow I will offer more guides to help you deepen the practice. I like to imagine the first list someone makes. Try to start with just five things and see what opens up.

Photos reprinted by GO AHEAD & LIKE IT Copyright © 2014 by Jacqueline Suskin. Photos Copyright © 2014 by Shelby Duncan. Illustrations Copyright © 2014 by Erielle Laniewski. Published by Ten Speed Press, an imprint of Penguin Random House LLC.

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Jacqueline Suskin is a writer, performance poet and artist based in Los Angeles. She is the author of two books, the most recent entitled Go Ahead & Like It. Known for her ongoing work on a piece she calls "Poem Store," Suskin composes on-demand poetry for clients who in exchange for a Unique verse choose both a subject and a price. Suskin has been featured in the New York Times, T Magazine, the LA Times, Time Out LA and others and has appeared at events for various organizations such as Art Basel, Los Angeles Contemporary, Art of Elysium and SF MOMA.