What I Want I Had Stated about Psychological Well being and Suicide
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Thirty years ago, the atmosphere around mental health and suicide was very different than it is today, especially in some areas. Even today, where you live can influence the information, help, and response you receive. Since then, I've learned to respond better when a loved one has problems.
If someone you care about changes in any way, something might be wrong. The difficulties go beyond the support available. According to statistics, most people who ultimately end their lives are dealing with a mental illness or behavior disorder – whether they realize it or not – although it doesn't always do so. Excessive stress or a combination of things can be factors that can also lead to thoughts of suicide.
Character? Sometimes there aren't. Sometimes changes in personality are made more difficult by attempts to self-medicate with substances like alcohol or drugs, or by excessive behavior such as spending wild money or doing something uncharacteristic, like making sudden important decisions about lifestyle or beliefs. These are just some examples. Sometimes you may just have a vague feeling that there is a problem. Not everyone displays tell-tale changes in behavior. To complicate matters, not all such changes are serious, especially in the volatile teenage years, although young people and children can become mentally ill.
If you think there might be a problem, or if you feel that you need help yourself, here's what I want you to know.
- Mental health is a spectrum that affects us all. We can fall on different points on the spectrum at different times in our lives, and stress affects our mental health. Appropriate care is just as important as it is for the rest of your body.
- There's no shame in seeking help with mental health or behavior problems. When others disagree, they are either inexperienced or ill-informed. Be patient and either share what you have learned with them or minimize contact if it affects your well-being or that of your loved one.
- Millions of people live successful and productive lives while dealing with mental health problems. Throughout human history, this includes some of the most creative, intelligent, and friendly people. You can do that.
- There is always hope for improvement. It takes time to learn about your condition and turn to mental health professionals. However, if you feel that you are not a good match, seek help elsewhere. Well worth sticking to. Today there are many tools that can help.
- It's okay to ask questions, and it's okay to have boundaries that ask others to respect you.
- All kinds of support can help. Family and friends, as well as professionals such as counselors and nutritionists, peers taking care of their own mental health, and support groups can be part of your wellness team.
- If you have problems that occur at the same time, they also need to be resolved. Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) meetings are offered conveniently now as well as on-site, and confidentiality is respected. Other groups work in a similar way. Ask your doctor for advice if you need help with withdrawal from drugs or alcohol. Counselors can help you resolve relationship or family problems.
- The stresses of living and dealing with mental illness, behavioral disorders, and substance abuse or family problems may seem overwhelming at times, but there are drug coping strategies and options that you can use. When thoughts of suicide seem like an escape route, know that they are only thoughts, not truths. They are temporary. However, they are serious and can become consuming. Knowing these are lies and having resources, coping plans, and a suicidal crisis on hand is your best line of defense.
- Suicide leaves deep pain and destruction. The lives of loved ones and friends are forever changed and the struggle for survival is difficult.
- If you love someone who commits suicide, don't go. Cry for help. Be patient. Assure him or her that your love is unconditional, that he or she can survive this, that things will get better. Repeat some of the information in this list to provide light in a dark place, or sit quietly and listen to share your strength. Remind your loved one that these feelings will pass.
- Also, actively take care of your own mental health. Be with those you love. Educate yourself. Ask a doctor or counselor how you can help, even if you are simply sending them a letter that might clarify the situation.
- Be courageous. Ask for support and get involved in appropriate groups like Al-Anon or Narc-Anon.
- Encourage your loved ones by offering to take them outside for a walk or do some of their chores.
- The future is unwritten. Whatever the problems are, they are not insurmountable, although they certainly feel that way.
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Jan McDaniel
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APA reference
McDaniel, J. (2020). What I wish I had said about mental health and suicide. Psych Central. Retrieved August 25, 2020 from https://psychcentral.com/blog/what-i-wish-i-had-said-about-mental-health-and-suicide/
Last update: August 25, 2020 (Originally August 25, 2020)
Last check: By a member of our scientific advisory board on August 25, 2020
Published on Psych Central.com. All rights reserved.
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