3 Factors That Form A Therapeutic Alliance + Why It Matters

Of course, if you and the therapist cannot agree on suitable goals, or if you do not believe that your therapist can help you achieve those goals, it will be difficult to forge a real therapeutic relationship.

Whatever the reason (except in cases in which the client generally has problems establishing a relationship, even outside of the therapy room, or in cases in which a client cannot cope with life in general), if you are not in a relationship with a Therapists, don't hesitate to consider the possibility that the problem is with the therapist rather than yourself – and keep shopping for the right fit.

If you have seen 10 therapists in a row and they all seem “off” somehow, it is of course possible that you are overly critical or just find it very difficult to trust. The general idea is just that, in most cases, a highly functional person's positive gut feeling towards a therapist is often an important predictor of therapeutic success.

While discussing fit issues with a new therapist may be less of a concern, it can be a good opportunity to discuss issues with a therapist who at a time you felt very positive about seeing a good opportunity whether you and this therapist can make course corrections together. Having frank conversations to re-clarify your therapy goals, adapt the therapist's approach to your situation, or repeating problems that made you unhappy with the therapist can actually be very enlightening. You may even find that when you hear your trusted therapist's perspective, you realize how you were unknowingly sending mixed signals about what you wanted from therapy. But if you and the therapist have never really had a strong "therapeutic alliance," then perhaps the smartest step is to poke around without investing a lot (if any) of time and money in therapy sessions just to talk about the lack of fitness.