7 Ways To Deal With Gaslighting, From A Therapist

Gas lighting is on a spectrum. Some gas lighters do not know they are gas lights and, for the most part, do not know how their behavior affects the other person. But some gas lighters know very well what they are doing, and they do it on purpose and without remorse. Should the person engage in additional behaviors that fall under the spectrum of narcissistic personality disorder, they are much more likely to purposely gas you on.

People who deal with gas light often wonder about the person's motives. When the gas lighter doesn't know they are gas lights, it gives them a sense of hope. Essentially, the recipients are trying to assess how patient they should be with their abuser. For example, if they don't know what they are doing, I can show them and the conversation can be more productive.

But what would actually change if you knew what your motive was? It can help you master the situation more skillfully (for example, knowing your motive arouses doubt, it can enable you to stand firm in your truth), but it doesn't require knowing your motives in the correct order of limitations put.