Many people have pointed to this scene as a prime example of gaslighting.
Just to freshen up, gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation that usually involves denying the reality of the person you are trying to control. According to therapist Aki Rosenberg, LMFT, behavior is about self-preservation and "the power / control to construct a narrative that keeps the gaslighter in the 'right' and its partner in the 'wrong'".
Perpetua Neo, DClinPsy, Doctor of Clinical Psychology, says mbg we don't have enough information to know if the man in the All Too Well movie was gaslighting on purpose at first, but when he talks about how she ruined the night, "That's the kick," she says.
“It's something that such personalities use as a weapon. They use & # 39; small & # 39; Moments and actions like not looking at someone or dropping their hand because they know it hurts – and pretending not to to teach their victim to gas themselves, ”explains Neo. "She is conditioned not to speak up."
It is also common for partners who step on the gas, according to clinical therapist Alexis Sutton, to place the blame on their partner, as in this case the man tells the woman it is her own fault for feeling stupid and all the time ruined the night. he called their behavior and their feelings directly "crazy", "insane" and "nonsense".
And if you were wondering about that excuse, it would be something called "cognitive empathy". Even if a gaslighter apologizes, "you will notice a robotic quality of his empathy expressions," writes Mental Health Philosophy Stephanie Sarkis, Ph.D., at mbg. "Gaslighters are experts in dealing with 'cognitive empathy' – pretending to have empathy without actually feeling it."