What We Should Do to Break the Cycle
Every day people from all parts of the world who have been left behind after the devastating effects of suicide call other survivors of such losses wherever they congregate. It's helpful to get in touch with people who have experienced similar tragedies and are trying to make sense of what happened to their lives.
Another, more painful reason they seek comfort from strangers is this: When they commit suicide, those who knew them best often withdraw or fail to help due to misunderstanding and fear. Most survive and continue to build, but some suffer multiple suicides and some follow loved ones by ending their own lives.
As a survivor, I listen to their voices. I hear the pain they feel I share it. And I try to pass on the positive things I learned on my own grief journey.
Healing is possible.
It won't always feel as difficult as it does now.
Love outlasts pain.
I am a classic car in the suicide victim world. But I know that even as they find ways to honor lost loved ones and put their own lives back together, some level of hurt will always be there. Understanding, accepting, processing this grief … all of these are pieces of a puzzle that must never be completely solved, a mystery that changes lives forever.
Even though these words were printed, I heard the despair when a parent asked, "Why do so many 19-year-old sons die by suicide?"
It is now common knowledge that the epidemic has been increasing for some time. The current pandemic and its impact on jobs and the economy have increased tolls worldwide. For small children, adolescents and adults of all ages there are no suicide barriers, no 100 percent prevention methods. Love cannot stop a person from suicide. Even constant vigilance cannot prevent such tragedies.
With all of the prevention work – which is very important – no economic class or race is immune to suicide. Little is known about abandoned survivors, although this will gradually change as the survivors themselves speak.
Suicide is both a public health problem and a mental health problem today. What do we have to do to break this cycle?
Suicide isolates. It creates fear. Millennia of myths and disinformation have cloaked everything about suicide in a cloak of secrecy. The first and most important thing we can do is rip off this cloak and find out what is true and what is false. The second most important thing to do is to share the truths we find with others, especially younger generations, whose life experience and knowledge base in this area may not be as developed.
Research and teaching can only go so far as to change the way we view suicide. And the challenge is great, as evidenced by a sharp breakdown over something as simple as the infection prevention method of wearing masks to stop the spread of COVID-19. If today's spread of myths and disinformation related to the pandemic can divide people so much, what hope is there for a better understanding of suicide and its consequences?
Hope comes in many forms. Here are a few.
Don't turn away. Find out what could be of help to survivors after a suicide and put them into practice. Community education programs led by mental health centers or local mental health professionals must be established in all areas, large and small. The resources already available need to be supported and financed so that the communities can use their materials and opportunities.
Spread the Truth. Suicide prevention and suicide loss follow-up materials are available and should be explained to any point of sale dealing with potential suicide victims. Fire departments, law enforcement agencies, emergency services, hospitals, local counselors and mental health / behavior centers, doctors, civic organizations, food banks and other relief agencies. Also, inform your local news agencies. Well-written messages don't raise suicide awareness, but they can provide hope and resources that will actually prevent suicide infection and clusters.
Do what you can. If suicide occurs in your community, do something. Coordinate with churches or service groups to send a representative to the family. Bring a "care kit" that includes local and online support information, a suicide fact sheet, a book on surviving this type of loss, and other items that may provide care in the first few days and weeks after the loss. Even a drop of bottled water and encouragement to stay hydrated can help.
Invite speakers. Invite people with appropriate experience to present materials and answer questions in schools, churches, workplaces, and other locations. From college to the fall festival, reaching people is important.
Saving lives begins and ends with you.
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